Saturday, November 29
I don't know!!! Damn... can't think properly...
Posted by Isabelle at 8:39 pm
Tuesday, November 25
Woo... It's the second day of a week again, and here I am, suddenly lost in time. Really, I can't tell which day of the week without a calendar, and even if with one, I'm not even sure. Kinda sad life I lead yah? Maybe... Well, it's just these kind of days that I start to do some crazy things like reading fanfiction, and gaining some insight into things... I'll post some here...
"You may have been annoying, you may have acted childish at times, but don’t ever stop being you. Right now, I would give anything to be annoyed by you. Your integrity is a rarity in this word today - the childish times, the mature times, the times when it was just us... It is how the qualities balance out that I was drawn to, it is everything that is you..." - Squall Leonhart
"But if I spent so much time on wondering what could have been, I guess, I couldn’t think about what is. If everything that happens is for a reason, then it could have never turned out differently." - Rinoa Heartilly
"There weren't many paths for me to choose. Sometimes, there would only be one. From the limited possibilities I faced, the choices I made have brought me this far. That's why I value the path I chose... I want to hold true to the path that HAD to be taken. It's not like I drifted here on the tides of fate. I'm here because I chose to be here." - Irvine Kinneas
Time makes every memory an incessant torture, elevating every guilt and crushing every hope. It gives you nothing but a despairing void of anguish, of knowing there will never be anything else in your life but an eternity of staring at blank walls and wondering where you went wrong. - Seifer Almasy
"And remember, no matter how difficult this may seem to you later on, no matter what, you’ll always be right here, right here in my heart." - Julia Heartilly
"Wherever we go after this life, I’ll be the one running ahead to welcome you there when your time comes." - Angelo
"The Italians have a musical notation not found in any other language: tempo giusto, 'the right tempo.' It means a steady, normal beat, between 66 and 76 on the metronome. Tempo Giusto is the appropriate beat of the human heart." - Gail Godwin
Posted by Isabelle at 10:22 am
Monday, November 24
Whoa, so many things that happened in one week. I barely washed away my BBQ smell from my current class gathering before we went to settle (finally) our remnants of the PW things, then got shipped off to chalet, came back to sleep 20 hours and finally went to a wake.
But it's just like that to see something from everything... Maybe, but in this very week, I realised a lot of things, like back then when my grandfather passed away, I knew he had to go, sooner or later, but I know these things can't be reasoned with sense. It's just a feeling, mixture of guilt, regret and disappointment. Perhaps more, perhaps less. I cannot really pinpoint the exact feeling. You all should know why you would feel this way.
But stop blaming yourself. It's hard to accept it at first, but this is how you must go through it. I used to look at my grandad's photo and immediately cry, but now, it's just acceptance, that he's gone. Remembrance is another thing entirely.
I wonder if how many people felt the same way I did, but never mind that. I like to look at things in an entirely different perspective. Maybe it's a form of escape, but at least it's a healthy one. When the truth hurts too much to look at it straight, I try to search for a more soothing view. It takes time though. I not asking for immediate results, but a wholistic view of the situation, and to truly let go.
Perhaps someone can comprehend what I had felt, and gain what little consolation I have to give.
Posted by Isabelle at 10:16 am
Sunday, November 16
Feels super high... Nuff said.
Posted by Isabelle at 7:34 pm
Friday, November 14
Yes!! *Dances around the computer* PW's out of the way!! Let's party, man!! Hehe... Wahaha... I've got a whole two months planned out to enjoy myself... Let's see, we'll start out with a class BBQ, then head on to my ex-class' chalet, and onto the Kuching trip, which is the highlight of the holiday... Wow... I'm so jammed packed with activities... Wahahahaha...............
Posted by Isabelle at 10:25 pm
Thursday, November 13
Haiz... I'm having my Oral Presentation for my PW, in less than 24 hours... Darn... Butterflies in my stomach... Wish me luck...
Posted by Isabelle at 11:35 am
Friday, November 7
Diddle dum dum... Chinese is over... Now's PW... Grrr... Now, if I can just bear with it for a few more days...
Posted by Isabelle at 9:49 pm
Wednesday, November 5
Hey hey, I passed my maths S paper test!! *Does a Jay Chou dance... Eh, how does it look like??* Anyway... Really quite shocked at I could have a try at it... Who knows, I might be the next President Scholar!! Haha... Dream too much... Dotz... I'll probably drop it next year or something like that... You know me... Take everything, and drop everything... Something like that lar... Hehe...
Posted by Isabelle at 10:05 pm
Tuesday, November 4
*Punches air* Woohoo!! Matrix rules!! But damn the Chinese paper on Friday, not that I care much, but you know, it kinda spoils the mood...
Posted by Isabelle at 9:53 pm
23 hours 11 minutes to Matrix, and counting... =)
Posted by Isabelle at 9:49 pm
Saturday, November 1
You know, one day of sleep can sometimes numb whatever you were feeling last night. Well, when someone has cracked you a terrible Halloween joke, and it's for real, it's really not funny at all. Especially when the joke is concerning about your grades... But somehow, after I woke up this morning, it was as if whatever joke last night became just a terrible nightmare, nothing much to be worried about. It's just like me to treat the whole incident like a joke, and pray that my teacher's kidding me. But jokes don't last that long. I know, but I don't want to accept it.
I just took my Maths S paper selection test. I wonder if I'd get in, but maybe not. I pretty much don't care anyway...
Happy Birthday, Dad...
Posted by Isabelle at 10:30 am